I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
