It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
