I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
