I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Well I just put wine in my tea
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
