Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
