So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
