This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
