i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
