i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
