I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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