True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
