Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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