I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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