I seem to have left my pride at pride
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
