I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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