GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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