lets start a swedish sibling band together
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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