I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
