i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
