break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
