she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
BRING THE BAGELS
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
