I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
soo... how was my night?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
