You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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