I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
