It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
