Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
