ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
