stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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