I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
