dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
