i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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