Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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