There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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