# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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