oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
