They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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