how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
