I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
