He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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