You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
