Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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