I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
