They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
