who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
