There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
