you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
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