oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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