whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
