A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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