Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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