There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
