Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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