I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Dick very happy bro
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