Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
