I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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