I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize