Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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